I went to the Phillies game last night with a dear friend of 13 years and her husband. When I first met Eileen, there was an overwhelming attraction which I could not understand.I fell deeply in love with her. Being married already, I KNEW that nothing could come of this intense attraction I felt but I had to understand why I felt the way I did at the time, with this beautiful, kind and spiritual stranger. It just so happened then that I was saying a Novena to St. Theres, “The Little Flower”. I was having a hard time emotionally and needed a friend. When you say a Novena to St. Theres, you are supposed to see a rose or roses. So that day when  Eileen and I were parting, she handed me her photography business card. It was a rose. I told her: “You are an answer to a prayer”  and she has been all of these years. She was truly a gift from God that I needed at the time and still do.

Just around that time, I happened to see a show on TV about reincarnation. Accident? I have come to learn over the years that there are NO accidents on this earth. God is in charge.

But before I go on, I want to say a word about reincarnation. A man I met at the Haddonfield Post Office, by chance(there we go again) is an expert in esoteric forms of yoga and we formed a bond as I was taking yoga classes almost every day on that topic as well as other forms of Yoga. Mahir was his name and he explained that Hindus and many other eastern religions believe in reincarnation. In fact, there are TWO BILLION people who live on this planet who do. Catholics generally do not, but cave writings found in 1945 dated to 100 AD profess to claim that Jesus Christ spoke of it. As the story goes the writings were destroyed and members of the sect were burned at the stakeand a subsequent Pope ordered that all references about reincarnation be removed from the Bible.

Well, Mahir explained that if you are living on this earth, by nature you are imperfect(as all religions believe) and when you die, you will die as an imperfect being, so by nature, this means that you MUST return in another body on your quest for perfection. You have no choice. It WILL happen.(although Newton(see below) suggests from some of his hypnosis sessions, the soul can request it NOT return in the flesh, but instead it returns as a spirit guide to people in desperate need  on earth which may include most people) Mahir explained that it may take millions of incarnations over millions of years to reach perfection which is up to us and since there is no such thing as time in the spirit world it may take eons of time to reach that state as Mahir explained.

This brings me back to Eileen and the strong attraction. Around the time I met her, there was an instant bond I could not explain. I also, had a strong emotional reaction to anything involving the US  Civil War(which was anything but civil, btw)I also came across a book by a Dr. Newton called “The Journey of Souls”, all about reincarnation-another coincidence? He was a therapist who used hypnosis in his work to treat patients early trauma and one day with one of his patients under hypnosis, the patient spontaneously went back into a past life that was greatly impacting the problem for which he was having therapy in this life. A whole branch of psychotherapy resulted from his work called “Regression Therapy”Dr. Newton reasoned that if a patient can go back to a past life by accident in a therapy session, he thought that maybe he can do this on purpose. He could. And over 30 years, he regressed HUNDREDS of patients and to his amazement found they all shared a  common “journey”, hence the title of his book. Other research by Dr Ian Stevenson of the University of Virginia, detailed in his book: “Sixty cases Suggestive of Reincarnation” detailing amazing cases done under hypnosis such as the case of a young boy who had died at a young age in his previous life who told the hypnotist that as a young boy he made certain markings in a book in the library as a child and when the book was retrieved years later, there were the markings the patient had described from his previous life.

So after I read this book, another coincidence happened. I saw a TV show about a Dr. Bowman, who was a specialist in past life regression hypnosis and protege of Dr. Newton and lo and behold, she was in the Media, Pennsylvania area, not far from me, So I made an appointment. This amazing confluence of cynchronic events under hypnosis lead to the explanation as to why I was so overcome with grief by the Civil War and so in love with someone I barely knew.

It was in that session I learned of my extreme bond to Eileen and my extreme sadness about the Civil War. I remember when my wife and I visited a friend who taught at Sheppard college in Sharpsburg, Pennsylvania which was near the Civil War battlefield of Antietem. I often ask people the trivia question: “What day in September did thousands of American die?” They always say 9/11, 2001. NOOO. It was the battle of Antietem where 25,000(if you can only imagine) were killed or wounded IN JUST ONE DAY!!!. My wife and I visited the battlefield. I knelt by the grave markers and cried and sobbed uncontrollably.

So as it came out in the session, I was killed in battle during the Civil War as a confederate soldier and the interesting part was that I was knocked off my horse and the Union soldier  clubbed me over the head with his rifle butt splitting my head open and held me under water, filing my skull with water.

As Dr. Bowman was imploring me to allow my spirit to “go to the light”, something kept pulling me back so she said: “Let’s see who this is that is pulling you back”. IT WAS EILEEN, CRYING  PRAYING FOR ME(It is often said by spiritualists that if you pray for the dying, it holds them to this earth when they really need to “go to the light”) I could see the clearest image of Eileen and that of a four year old little girl who looked just like her holding up her arms  for “daddy”

So as the hypnosis session ended, Dr. Bowman asked: ” Aside from meeting Eileen and learning about your death in the Civil War what did you bring from this past life to the present?” As I looked at my body in the water and  head split open full of water, I said spontaneously: “A head full of water”(the title of my book about my hydrocephalaus) an obvious reference to the SEVERE hydrocephalus I lived with whom Dr. Grady, a top brain surgeon once remarked about: “I have only seen five patients with hydrocephlus as severe as yours and they were ALL profoundly retarded–all the rest were dead. Yet you have an IQ of 133.” He pointed to the third ventricle of my brain which had a hole in it and explained that hydrocephalis infants today get a procedure called an ETV(Endoscopic third ventricular ostomey, where a hole is made in the third ventricle to relieve the pressure on the brain. That didn’t exist in my time so the question remains: “How did the hole get there?” My mother claimed it was because her father,a devoutly religious and brilliant man who got his Masters Degree from St. Joe”s College when he was just 16 said a Novena to the Blessed Virgin and the condition suddenly arrested itself(the brain created a hole EXACTLY where a surgeon would have put it, but I was never operated on since there were no scars.) To this day, I keep a lighted statue of the Blessed Virgin(which belonged to a dear aunt who died of cancer when I was 17) on my night table at night and can’t sleep without looking at and praying to  her.

So here I was, killed in battle leaving a wife and small child to fend for themselves. It came out in the session that I volunteered for the army and could have avoided service due to the wealth of my father who was a plantation  owner with many slaves Such  scenarios were   repeated thousands of times after young men with a wife and child are killed n battle over the years. “Oh when will they ever learn” as the song goes.

Another concept of reincarnation is that when you die, is if you have unfinished business such as I just alluded to, with someone you leave behind, your soul will search and search for the spirit of that person to satisfy the karmic debt.

Such was the case with Eileen until that fateful day in September of 2003 when I met her walking around Audubon lake taking pictures of the swans and ducks. I was walking my beloved Golden Retriever Gracie who proceeded to scatter all the ducks and geese when Gracie saw her and wanted to say “Hello”. As she told the story: “I wondered who this rude man was who couldn’t control his dog, but out of Christian, love, I  decided to forgive” and I am glad she did.

So finally, this brings up the point of this blog. How many times is the scenario of Eileen and I and my death during the Civil War leaving her with a small child to raise? Over all recorded time, it must be hundreds o f thousands, if not millions of times. They say that when you die leaving a wife and small children, in another life, your soul MUST find that soul to make sure they are not abandoned AGAIN and take care of them. My soul found Eileen and I am happy to say, she has found someone who loves and takes good care of her. I met him at the Phillies game last night and thanked him and told him how grateful I am he is taking care of a dear friend I have know for thirteen years and I am relieved she is safe and protected.

So what is the answer to all this. Perhaps it can be found in the final verse of “The Minstrel Boy” a Civil War ballad Which begins:

“The Minstrel boy to the war has gone, in the ranks of death you will find him.

His father’s sword he hath girded on, his wild harp slung behind him….”.

The last verse reads:

“The minstrel boy will return one day, when we hear the news  we will cheer it.

the Minstrel Boy will return torn we pray torn  in body but not in spirit

And he will  live in a world such as Heaven intended

And all the bitterness of man must cease and every battle must be ended”


Bob Phillips

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